Bittersweet

As the year is coming to a close, half of me is so happy to be getting ready to put this place behind me. The other half is sad to go. I have made good friends here. Miss Meanie is evil and I hope I never have to see her again, but many of my colleagues were awesome.

The kids were awesome too. Even when they were wreaking havoc.

Today I had to break the news to Persius that I won't be back next year. Persius is still upset that I haven't been able to run the academic groups since January (because I suddenly became the full time behavior teacher) and he asks me about it every time he sees me. "Miss Butterfly, I just have one question," he'll say. "When are you coming back to teach us?" Usually I've just replied, "I don't know, buddy," or "It's not up to me," because I was still holding out hope that they'd let me go back to my academic teaching duties and hire an actual behavior teacher. When I told Persius before that it wasn't up to me, he marched to the principal's office and demanded to know if he had made that decision. (He hadn't. It was Miss Meanie.)

So today I went into the academic room to get a stapler, and Persius was in there doing his reading group. When he saw me he asked me, "Will you come back and be our teacher next year?"

I'd been dreading telling him this. I sat down next to him and said, "I'm going to be teaching at a different school next year."

He jumped into my arms like a little kid and hugged me, rocking back and forth, saying, "But I don't want you to go! Why do you have to go?"

I didn't know how to explain it to him except to say, "I just have to." I tried to tell him, "But you can write me a letter if you want, and if you give it to any of the other teachers here, they can mail it to me."

"And can you come over to my house? Everyone I like is going to come over in the summer!"

I kept on telling Persius that I wouldn't be too far away, and that all the other people he liked would still be there next school year, and eventually convinced him that everything would be okay.

Tomorrow I have to tell the little kids, which should go over a little easier... they'll be sad but their attention spans are significantly shorter and they'll be more excited about summer break. I'm not even going to tell Ruddy until over the summer... he's going to be at Rec Camp with me, so that will give me some extra time to break the news to him slowly.

Which brings us to the good news... I got a new teaching job! I will be an Adaptive Classroom teacher! The elementary school I'll teach at is only a few minutes from my house. I'm so excited about it... it is a fresh new start.

I just wish I could bring Persius and Ruddy with me!

Ruddy's Turn

Now that Montana and Anise are at the Therapeutic School, Ruddy is the only student who is with me full time, And when I say full time, I mean all the time. Mrs. Meanie pulled all of the assistants out of my room, which means I have to be the one to take Ruddy to recess, lunch, specials, the gen ed room, and anywhere else he may go. Ruddy has become very attached to me and hates for me to step outside of the room. When I walk across the room to get something out of the fridge, he shouts, "Miss Butterfly, where are you going?" For a few days I got him to join the reading and math groups going on in the next room, so I could get some work done testing other kids. Ruddy got bored and came back into our room, and when he saw that I wasn't there he had a conniption fit. When I got back into the room he yelled at me, "Why did you leave me? You abandoned me!"

He is very lovable, but it is also somewhat like bringing your toddler to work with you... you don't get much other work done.

Today though, Ruddy had a meltdown that rivaled the ones Anise and Montana used to have. In fact, I have my suspicions that he was actually copying some of the things Anise used to do. He was swearing a blue streak, and even called me a bitch. He even threatened to hit me with a lunch box because I wouldn't let him leave the room! "Don't make me do this! I don't want to hurt you, but I will! Just think of how much pain you'll be in!" he shouted in my face, wielding the lunch box menacingly.

People at my work say I am the best at keeping completely calm in these situations. I barely blinked, and just waited him out. Eventually he threw the lunch box in another direction, but then he climbed up on a table and found where the scissors were hidden and threatened to cut his own ear off.

Over the summer I am going to be helping to run the city's Special Recreation program. Ruddy is signed up to be there, Whenever I tell people this, they roll their eyes and say, "Just what you need, right?" But I think it will be a lot better. Special Rec is different. Its all about having fun, and we don't force the kids to do things they don't want to do. I think it will be a good thing for him. But it will probably be just as exhausting!

I am really ready for this school year to be over. Is that a negative thing to say? I'm just really looking forward to a fresh start.