Mid-May Check In

When I started this blog a few months ago, I had four students, two who were with me full time and two who were with me part time. A lot has happened since then. I tried to make this group of kids into a class, but it was harder than it seemed. I thought I'd update you on them.

Montana was the first to get sent to the Therapeutic School a few towns over. From what I've heard, he is doing great there, and his behavior has improved a lot, at least in that setting. It doesn't mean that he is turning over a new leaf... Recently I had two boys added to my caseload who were coming out of the Therapeutic School. They were put straight into general ed classes, and went right back to their old behaviors. I think it is the school, and the therapeutic environment it is able to provide, that makes the biggest difference. I miss Montana a lot. The other night I had a horrible dream that he died in a plane crash. It was a stupid dream, but it haunted me for days. But I was at the Therapeutic School yesterday and heard that Montana is alive and doing well.

Anise, the original student for whom the self-contained class was developed, stuck around for a few months. But she developed habits of trashing the classroom, hitting staff, and kicking out the screen and jumping out the window so she could run away. She was the second one to be sent to the Therapeutic School. I have no part in the decision of whether to send them there... if I did, I probably would have kept Montana... but I was glad to see Anise go there. She needed way more than we could give her. She's on her first week and I've heard she loves it there.

Ruddy is still with me and is the only student in the class right now, which has created a weird dynamic between he and I. Since I only have one student, the special ed director, Miss Meanie, reassigned my assistants, which means it is just Ruddy and I most of the time. The assistants used to do a lot of work with Ruddy and go with him to music and PE and stuff, but now I have to do it. Ruddy has started to get separation anxiety about me and can't stand if I leave the room to work with any of the other kids on my caseload. He needs so much attention, it has started to feel a little like having a toddler!

Ruddy has made it to Level 4, which is the second highest level in our classroom. He did that by getting 10 cumulative days of having 90% on his point sheet. I am trying to transition him back into general education, but I worry that he won't be successful. He's been working really hard to deal with his anger. It has been quite a while since he has trashed the room. The problem is that Ruddy has trouble understanding that he has any sort of control over his behaviors. He doesn't understand cause and effect. If he gets a consequence, or if someone says "no" to something he wants, he thinks it is because the person doesn't like him. Ruddy asks for a million things per day. He wants to go for a walk, he wants a stick of gum, he wants to play with the iPad during work time, he wants to play music during reading group, he wants to drag all of the desks and chairs together and make a fort. I am pretty easy going, and many times my answer will be Yes, if it is doable. Yes, you can have a stick of gum if I can see that it helps you sit and concentrate. Yes, we can make a fort during break time if we put it back afterwards. But in a general ed class, or even a special ed class with more than one student,  all of those things wouldn't always be possible. He doesn't understand why he has to do the stupid state testing on the iPad. I try to explain to him that every kid in the state has to do it, and maybe even every kid in the country. He points to a sign he made that says "I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE BOSS ME AROUND!" In his mind, rules exist only to interfere with his fun, and he shouldn't have to follow them.

Persius... Persius could break my heart! Persius was one of the first kids I knew, back when I was running the academic groups. He has autism and his thinking is very black-and-white. He spends a lot of time flopping around in his chair wailing that NOTHING IS FAIR! Before I ended up as the behavior teacher, I used to let Persius come to my room and take music breaks when he was having a hard time in class. He claimed that music calmed him down, and it did seem to work. He liked this weird electronic music that you can only find on YouTube. When I'd turn it on, he'd start to dance, his pale freckled face breaking into a grin.

After my academic groups were taken from me, Persius asked me every day when I was coming back. At first I had been told that the set up was only temporary, so I would tell Persius that I would be back soon. But then "temporary" became "permanent." Every single time I see Persius he grabs my arms and begs me to come back to run his groups. I started telling him, it wasn't my decision, it was my boss's decision. So Persius marched to the principal's office and demanded to know why the principal had made me stop teaching the academic groups. The principal told him he had nothing to do with it. (That is true... it was all Miss Meanie's doing!)

Persius's regular ed teacher tells me that Persius also complains every day to her about me being gone. "You made a real difference to Persius. He really misses you," she said.

Today Persius saw me outside and came to give me a hug, saying, "If you don't at least come back to run our groups after summer vacation, my life will be ruined!":

I don't have the heart to tell him that I am not coming back at all next school year.

I've been starting job interviews already! It would be awesome if I could get a job lined up before summer vacation even starts! Wish me luck.